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X Games 16 kicks off Thursday morning with the BMX Freestyle Park Elimination on the Event Deck at LA Live. Not quite the event to try and rock your baby blue beach cruiser.

Top free stylists like Corey Bohan will endure the challenge of taking their BMX bikes on the massive transition course. Throw in a few obstacles spread around the park and you’ll quickly realize the necessity for safety gear.

By a normal person’s lunchtime (who eats lunch at noon anymore?), try keeping yourself in the shade and out of Southern California’s beautiful layer of brown smog while the world’s top men street skateboarders duke it out in the elimination round. We’re hoping to see at least one hard flip to nose grind down a double-kinked handrail to backside nollie heel flip out. Or is that something that can only be done in video games? Whatever the case may be, this street skating competition is definitely a step up from real street skating where you spend most of your energy running from overweight security guards driving golf carts with respirators strapped on the back like nitrous tanks.

You should’ve scarfed down at least one of LA’s finest street dogs by now. The greasiest bacon-wrapped form of processed mystery meat stuffed into a stale bun cooked on a cart and served next to some even tastier exhaust fumes. Now while that’s abusing your internals, jump in your car to fight traffic to the LA Coliseum to get your fill of exhaust fumes, revving engines, and dirt getting kicked up into your face from the Moto X competitions.

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For nearly four hours, you’ll see everything from Super X to Freestyle from both men and women athletes. Yeah, girls like Ashley Fiolek are better than you at Moto X and probably a lot of other things we didn’t want to call you out on unless you forced our hand. Usually, things look easier than they really are. Moto X doesn’t look easy at all so if you’re going to try these stunts when you get home, make sure you have 9-1-1 pre-dialed on your cell phone so all you have to do is muster up the energy to hit “send” when the time is right.

The sun will probably be close to setting by the time the Skate Big Air competition starts, but what do you care anyway? You’re already covered with sweat, dirt, tears, hot dog grease, and probably blood by now. Only one event left for what seemed like the longest day for someone who normally wakes up at 1pm. But of course, they save the best for last.

A handful of other daredevil skaters will be attempting to launch over a massive 50 or 70-foot gap then land smoothly into a 27-foot quarter pipe. Considering that they’re doing this on what’s essentially a sheet of plywood with wheels on it, the whole thing doesn’t even sound feasible if you think about it. Then again, Danny Way did jump over the Great Wall of China and we’re pretty sure that was real unlike David Copperfield’s magic act.

Make sure to purchase your X Games 16 tickets at Ticketmaster.
 


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